diff --git a/package/ci/appveyor.yml b/package/ci/appveyor.yml
index faaa37d..0469d8c 100644
--- a/package/ci/appveyor.yml
+++ b/package/ci/appveyor.yml
@@ -99,11 +99,15 @@ install:
 # Ninja. `cinst ninja` started 503ing in late November 2019 and wasn't really
 # reliable before either. So install by hand, as that's reliable always.
 - IF NOT EXIST %APPVEYOR_BUILD_FOLDER%\ninja-win.zip appveyor DownloadFile https://github.com/ninja-build/ninja/releases/download/v1.9.0/ninja-win.zip
-- 7z x ninja-win.zip -oC:/tools/ninja
+- 7z x ninja-win.zip -oC:/tools
+- set PATH=C:/tools;%PATH%
+
+# Codecov uploader
+- appveyor DownloadFile https://uploader.codecov.io/latest/windows/codecov.exe -FileName C:/tools/codecov.exe
 
 # pip is in Scripts
 - set PATH=C:/tools/ninja;C:/Python%PYTHON%-x64;C:/Python%PYTHON%-x64/Scripts;%PATH%
-- pip3 install coverage codecov
+- pip3 install coverage
 
 - IF NOT "%BUILD_STATIC%" == "ON" set BUILD_STATIC=OFF
 # The fugly \=/ magic is to replace backward slashes with forward so CMake
diff --git a/package/ci/circleci.yml b/package/ci/circleci.yml
index fcc0a60..0ade968 100644
--- a/package/ci/circleci.yml
+++ b/package/ci/circleci.yml
@@ -1,6 +1,14 @@
 version: 2.1
 
 orbs:
+  # Version 3.2.4 is the "new" uploader, but it's a 50 MB Node.js *binary* and
+  # doesn't work on ARM64 Linux (or ARM Macs, or FreeBSD for that matter) and
+  # nobody seems to care. Issues opened since Septembe 2021:
+  #   https://github.com/codecov/uploader/issues/347
+  #   https://github.com/codecov/uploader/issues/523
+  #   https://github.com/codecov/uploader/issues/849
+  # The old 1.1.1 still seems to work even though codecov got removed from pip
+  # on 2023-04-14.
   codecov: codecov/codecov@1.1.1
 
 executors:
@@ -151,8 +159,8 @@ commands:
         type: string
     steps:
     - run:
-        name: Install coverage and codecov
-        command: pip3 install coverage codecov
+        name: Install coverage
+        command: pip3 install coverage
     - checkout
     - run:
         name: Build & test
@@ -161,6 +169,33 @@ commands:
           if [ "$BUILD_DEPRECATED" != "OFF" ]; then export BUILD_DEPRECATED=ON; fi
           ./package/ci/<< parameters.script >>
 
+  # Official docs say "token not needed for public repos", in reality not using
+  # the token is "extremely flakey". What's best is that if the upload fails,
+  # the damn thing exits with a success error code, and nobody cares:
+  # https://github.com/codecov/codecov-circleci-orb/issues/139
+  upload-codecov:
+    parameters:
+      file:
+        type: string
+    steps:
+      # Second best thing is that the codecov/upload helper takes a `token`
+      # parameter. But the token parameter is an ENVIRONMENT VARIABLE NAME!! So
+      # one just *can't* pass the token there. It got changed arbitrarily in
+      # https://github.com/codecov/codecov-circleci-orb/pull/93 "because
+      # CircleCI docs suggested so", yet all codecov docs suggest just
+      # commiting that token directly to the YML files because "it's fine". So
+      # if it's fine, why do I have to suffer like this?!
+    - run:
+        name: Set codecov upload token because everything is a dumpster fire
+        # An icing on the cake is that CircleCI commands don't allow setting
+        # `environment` for `commands`, only for `jobs`, so I have to do that
+        # via bash, and because the environment isn't passsed from a run to
+        # run, use the BASH_ENV hack. Mmm. Technology.
+        command: |
+          echo 'export CODECOV_TOKEN=ade9e2f1-d6d7-45cb-a292-c5bb1ad45be9' >> "$BASH_ENV"
+    - codecov/upload:
+        file: << parameters.file >>
+
   lcov:
     steps:
     - run:
@@ -170,7 +205,7 @@ commands:
           lcov $LCOV_EXTRA_OPTS --directory . --capture --output-file coverage.info > /dev/null
           lcov $LCOV_EXTRA_OPTS --extract coverage.info "*/src/python/*" "*/src/Corrade/*" "*/src/Magnum/*" --output-file coverage.info > /dev/null
           cd src/python && coverage combine
-    - codecov/upload:
+    - upload-codecov:
         file: coverage.info
 
 jobs: